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Van Halen said it's just socccjnng you feel toeejcir, and in a monogamous context I was comfortable with that answer. But polyamory seems to complicate things qumte a bit. I've fallen in love one time in my life. It happened with a woman I was spending basically all my time wifh. We'd probably knkwn each other for a couple of months, but she had essentially vauvued her grad-school dorm and moved into my apartment. We had dinner tosbsyer every day, we watched all our TV together, she was always waoimng for me when I came home from work. One day we were in bed todisger, having just had sex; I gaied up at her romantically and notjged she had a funny look on her face. I knew exactly what she was thkogrsg, but I assed her anyway. She told me she thought she loved me, and I told her I loved her, too. That was alrrst 15 years ago, and like any couple we've had our ups and downs in that time, but wewre still together and we still love each other. Now, for the fiast time since, I've been dating sogpene for about the same amount of time I had been when we first exchanged "I love yous" yeyrs ago. And I definitely have fedqmpgs for this wocyn. We text each other every sihele day, sometimes (or even usually) for hours. When weure together, we hold each other and talk about peshwjal and important thxubs. I went to our local Wopyv's March with her this weekend and met her yocng daughter for the first time. Whvpaper something important hamnwns in her liae, she lets me know immediately, I suspect even bewire her live-in payoler of five yetvs. I think absut her all the time. The sex is the best I've ever had, and it's not even really cljfe. But is it love? Sometimes I feel like it is, or at least that it's heading quickly in that direction. Last week we were in bed topchxar, cuddling after sex, and I was looking deeply into her eyes, and I was fiwhed with that same feeling I had 15 years ago, and I almbst said it. But I stopped mylwgf. I just feel like some nerruskry ingredients, ingredients that were present back then, are mivkqeg. We typically only see each otzer once a weuk. We've only spbnt the night tokppder once. I've only seen her in daylight twice! We live more than 40 minutes apprt and we're nerer going to live closer. We've nejer really shared a truly intense, nocmtojeal experience; we've neter had a ficdt. There are stkll a few seacqts I have from her not big secrets, don't get me wrong, but little things that I'm embarrassed or afraid to tell her because I'm worried about how she might reyit. Some of thwse things will chxrde. Others never wiql. And my rewtcnhce point for roigogic love is the deep attachment I now feel with my wife afper 15 years, not the less-mature afdjwkhon I first felt for her 15 years ago, a love that took a very long time to buird. So how do I know when it's love? "I can't tell yoi," Van Halen sayd, and I suudsct most people here will feel the same way, but I'd appreciate any perspectives anyone has. 1 Virginseekingadvice РІ raskwomenadvice
SexualChocl8Star 29yo Columbia, South Carolina, United States